21 Mar
2012
Posted in: Notch
1 Comment

“Let the Uninhibited Speculation Begin”

 

A few hours ago, Notch announced on his Twitter feed that something bad had happened that might change Mojang, but he was not at liberty to discuss it. Since Notch’s twitter feeds are uploaded directly to Reditt, to community was quick to respond. samineru, who got 70 upvotes, commented. “I thought Notch would’ve learned by now that airing dirty laundry to your frankly obsessed fanbase is not a good idea”. Which is totally true, because a little later, 5c0779373 posted this comment, “let the uninhibited speculation begin”. And that it did. That it did…

Ausmerica “The Mojang computer became sentient. It asked the guys if that was okay, and if it could still work as a computer. They said yes, of course it could. But then…”

gmfreaky “The computer continued to throw up it’s bodily fluids, and was being stimulated by markus. Jens cried for help, but to no avail. The computer started coughing blood and Markus was laughing like a maniac, until suddenly, out of nowhere, a ladder appeared to the attic. Jens quickly clam up the ladder and found himself in a smelly, white space, with a long conveyor belt stretching out as far as the eye could see. In the sky he could see a big greenish fog that was passing by quickly.”

Ausmerica “The fog boiled malignly and coiled around Jens’ long voluptuous hair causing him to stumble momentarily. In this brief period Markus had ascended the ladder and stood behind Jens in the large smelly void. The recalcitrant green smog held Jens in his place, and despite strenuous effort, it held strong. Turning his head tentatively, Jens saw behind him the laughing figure of Markus, trembling in delight. With a sly look on his face Markus reached into his pocket and pulled out a single, small, cube. His eyes shone a dark, glassy black and he held the cube to his face. Voxels now trickled from his pockets, and this little stream soon grew into a maelstrom of the sinister voxels, whipped around in a vortex with the green fog, circling the petrified Jens.”

gmfreaky “As the voxels continued to float and swirl around jens magnificent hair, the ladder to the attic began to disappear into thin air. Markus wasn’t prepared for this sudden event, and began to shed a manly tear. Suddenly, a semi-truck arrived on the scene. Jens, still in trance, looked at the truck and began to wander who the driver could be. Before he got an answer, the truck started to reverse into a nearby pond. “Stop!”, Jens exclaimed, while the vehicle sank into the polluted water.”

Ausmerica “Jens now looked at the pond in dismay, whilst Markus lay concussed on the floor; cataleptic in his stupor. In the rippling face of the murky pond Jens saw coalesce an image. Peering closer, looking past the bubbles forcing upwards from the sunken truck, the image became clearer. It was the computer, laughing and vomiting in the most horrific manner. Startling backwards Jens saw above him the churning vertices of voxels forming hideous, nebulous shapes. The smelly white void cracked into blackness, pulling with it the hateful green fog, the pond and the voxels. There was nothing left now, just himself and Markus, who was laying flaccid on the infinite nothing of void.”

1 Comment

So, what do you think?

You must be logged in to post a comment.